I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
