Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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