physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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