He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Randomize
