1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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