you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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