On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
