No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
