Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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