i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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