Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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