i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So much rum. So many feels.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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