Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize