Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
