Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
