we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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