Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
