ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
