I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
