so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
