When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
