you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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