It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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