i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
