Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
