yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
