WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
