so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
