every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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