dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
