More tranny stories later!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
