I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
