My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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