Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
