Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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