Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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