I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
