I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize