....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
