yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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