i jhust puked up my retainher.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize