proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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