I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
