dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
