I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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