puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
