Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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