i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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