we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
