One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
