I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it was like eating out sand paper
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
