Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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