I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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