Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
