Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
