I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
