so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I want to be your penis for a week.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
