C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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